anand

i realize that the heart can never be happy as we are so bound by the desires within.

Learning list

Seismic Wave Propagation; Seismic Imaging

Fortran,MATLAB, C++ for Madagascar, Python, Raftor,LAtex

These are some the fields followed by the requisite skills required to well in the aforementioned fields.

anticipation

to be overwhelmed by the sheer volume of work done in imaging (am speaking here of seismic imaging) is obvious and difficult to overcome. There is immense amount of work already done in the filed but that is just an inspiration rather than impediment in search of more problems. There are numerous problems as I have witnessed in imaging of earth's interior(oops I reproduced Claerbout) from my work experience. This was one of the reasons that drove me to research.

All I can say for now "I look forward to the future with anticipation of great enjoyment in this journey'

Resrch prob

To hit on a research problem that's is still fertile is like finding a road to the jackpot. There are many obstacles before we find the road. Our vision is to be modified before we are able to see far into the future and decide what is going to be a problem worthwhile to work on that may have an impact on the future and the understanding of the field.

Besides getting to the problem to the problem the other factor that I guess is a major challenge that many researchers may be working on the same problem so to reach to the solution in the fastest time is a big thing. Now I do not have a complete idea regarding where do I stand w.r.t to fellow researchers but I know that the first part of research(i.e finding a problem) is my first concern now. Even though it doesn't imply that I shouldn't look the second part of the problem but I work on the First things first basis and that means handling one thing at a time or more concisely out focus. Focussed approach would be far more helpful than just getting lost in the huge world of research with undefined variables to trouble us all the time.

The work begins

Met Dr.Sen today at 2.30 pm. When I got to my office I was a bit hesitant to go into his room as I found him busy working once and the other time I went I found him talking on phone. After asking fellow office mets about what's the protocol I was bit relaxed when they told me it was just knowing at the door that took to grab is attention.

We discussed what possible direction I may have to work. He started off with Seismic Imaging and probably seismic anisotropy. Both the fields are new to me and I am definitely excited to be working on any of these fields.

He commenced with explaining with the help of sketch board about the two classification of migration:Imaging and Extrapolation. Extrapolation method as the name itself suggests has many algorithms like Kirchoff, Phase shift migration ,reverse time migration. When I asked about Phase Shift migration of which I had read a little he explained to me how in a homogeneous media in which velocity varies only with depth this method can be employed to do quick migration. With the aid of exploding earth model and the concept of downward migration to arrive at a solution he explained how a feasible solution can be arrived at.

I hope to be occupied well with the work at hand and that is to understand migration principles.

What I want to read in geophysics now

After discussions with Dr.Sen regarding the field that I would e working in I have narrowed ot down to the field of seismic imaging. At the same time I would keep reading on seismic data analysis , anisotropy and inversion. While I am still not aware of how challenging these fields may be mathematically ( since I think i learn slowly, I may be at a little offset from making the progress at the desired pace) but I guess it comes with practice. Eventually I would like to work on Seismic Wave Propagation which has already been researched a lot; I hope to find something interesting about it.

I do not have time on my side and as is always the case I am chasing it to keep up with it but inspite of that I lose track of it sometimes. I hope I shall be able to develop the skills ( which are programming, mathematics and geology coupled with imagination or visualisation whichever way any one would like to put it).

So Seismic Imaging by John Scales is one of the books that I would base my research on looking for possible areas of problems. At the same time to look at seismic wave propagation theory I would try and develop an understanding of Quantitative Seismology by Aki & Richards. This particular book adopts a very compact way of describing things and it looks beautiful since it is devoid of many calculations and rather based on developing an understanding of the subject. For the strengthening my base I would have to read mathematics. As a major part of my endeavour to pursue research successfully I would also have to develop programming skills which I did not get a good chance to study and pursue.

I hope that with time I am able to do it progressing for ever every day a little bit toward the goal.

27 Aug

A lot of wasted effort can be avoided if i become focused. Concentrating on one thing at a time I think can be very useful. I guess it comes with practice that the inner self is calmed and we become more balanced. Perturbations are more inside than due to forces outside. What we think alters our behaviour can be controlled from within but it come s with patience and practice. Is human brain so designed that it can not rest in peace at a place for a long period of time and fidget away roaming like a fool without knowing what it is looking for?

A more calmer self is how I visualise to be but the mind is overpowering very so . A result of allowing t to do whatever it like and pleases it whims. Ooh yes I need a power beyond my reach at this stage to bring the wavering find to halt and lodged in a dock. What we look for with full earnestness is achieved ( or maybe again the mind is playing games with us giving us a fancied of vision what it desires,....oh how do I differentiate between the real and unreal,;For what is real and what is unreal I know not ).

Why am I going back?

Why am I going back?

I pondered over this issue sometimes but I returned to the same old point.

What do I want to do?  What do I love?

Some questions are never answered. It is the quest that satiates these queries rather than any particular answer itself.

Yes I love the university life. I love to study and learn. May be for now I know only these few reasons that  I want to go back , may be I’d find more when I live that life again.

Dream - 24 Mar

Yesterday I again had a dream. This time it was about the university that I am going to join soon and begin a new journey.

Although I didn’t see the university as such but only that I was feeling very excited about going to this  new place.

One of my seniors working here fixes up a meeting with one of the current students who is pursuing his MS in PE. I am riding on a bicycle to meet him. I don’t remember anything after this.

Pretenders

We are the pretenders.
Since I am idle
I am in a retrospective mood
I am trying to think about myself.

I am nervous , I am happy, brimming with expectations. I wish I had all these feelings but strangely I am very subdued and the call that I received more than being a moment of extreme joy ( as I had been eagerly waiting for it to happen for 1.5 years) it just turned out to be just like any other normal happening in y life with no extremities. Does it signify something? I do not have any idea but I think I have become calmer and learned to accept everything with equanimity.
Having a free mind and always being ready for come what may is what I have started believing in of recent.This leaves me with more freedom to concentrate on my present and not worry over future.

So why am I so subdued and mellowed? Where is all the excitement of having achieved something big?
Am I filled with hope? Yes that I definitely am. Sometimes I even have sleepless nights of which I shall grow out.Am I missing out on anything by not being overtly

M.O.P

The pains of insufficiency exceeds the wastefulness of opulence

And he plays with the strings
Controlling my fate
While the chorus sings
You're dead it's too late

Parched lips and bubbles

The new born bubbles are so eager to meet the cracks in my lips, to rise and meet the tender underskin.
Oh how beautiful that the need of love can be found in any two elements that are so disconnected .
I am hopeful of things to become better.

Wnadering eyes

The eye wanders off, it is restless and wants to search just out of curiosity .
It wanders off out of the glassed enclosures of my imprisonment through the reflections on a unmirrored glass without caring to stop by ans say hello to all the faces that are reflected off its careless and carefully shined surface of all the faces that are looking up to it in wonderment, onto to the caged veranda that is veiled by the unworried leaves of a tree and it tries to probe into the darkness ,"hello is there anybody there, are u scared of the light that tries to filter through the carefully guarded and shaded windows?"
Alas there ain't any answer but that wont stop this mind to think of possibilties of what if my eyes had met those deep eyes that were also searching for a pair to talk to across the narrow inhibitions of rooms and buildings.
I will find those eyes one day.

The watch that stopped ticking

I am a shabby old priosner.My watch stopped working many years ago.I do not know why my watc stopped working but I think I know why it did which may not be the reason.
The watch was tired of my inactivvity, it failed in its incessant attempts to rouse me from my slumber.Out of protest it stopped one day to teach me a lesson about the importance of keeping walking.

Dreams - Elephant's ride and Cows' chase

I had  a dream and...
Of what I can recollect in pieces

Somebody telling me that brown broad checked shirts are good and they look good with dark Brown pants. (Now what does this possibly means I do not know yet).

Another fragment that I can remember is as follows( I’d try to reproduce as I saw it , or rather remember as how I saw it since Freud says our reproduction of dreams is distorted by our mind trying to fill in the gaps wherever possible ( but I feel it is not so))

…I get down at a desolate location ( a station may be , a scene from Sundance kid I think, may be) and I see cows chasing from everywhere. I go to an abandoned house and I scramble up the old ramshackle of a building ut the cows are relentless in their chase and they too are climbing up the building. They are everywhere , all around and I am feeling scared ( I guess). Then I climb up to the terrace and I close the door. The cows ae at my heel and they come thrashing against the door. I lok around and I see a tree just beside the house , cows are climbing up the tree too. Then I see a ventilator ( glass pane divider type) and ants are scrambling out of it ( ants did appear in the earlier part of this dream but I cannot recall what did I see particularly about them) . I break the pane and get through it ( I do not know how I get out of it as the ventilator was small in size for me to get through it). After I climb out of it I get down the building and the next thing I remember is riding an elephant. The elephant is running fast and I hold on to its belly to keep myself from falling off it. The belly is moving in smooth waves up & down. Then the person who is guiding the elephant tells me to let go of its belly as it makes it feel uneasy , so I let it go.

After sometime the elephant is surrounded by wild elephants on a rampage but they make way for this elephant when they see it arrive (I felt like it is a respected figure in its community).

This was a strange dream. And like most of the dreams I have I feel I haven’t dreamt this before. But I guess it ahs got something to do with my Assam visit where I heard that there wild animals and once of we get surrounded by them there isn’t any escape.

Mother I love you

Mom gets worried about very small things . I guess this is the effect that time spent lonely has on people growing up and touching seniority. For example yesterday night she wole up with the slightest of the sounds. I tried calming her . What goes on inside her head I do not have a very clear idea but I guess she feels sad for the things that she could have done or about the life she could have lived.
Mummy is one of the three greatest persons I have known in my life till no (the other two being Baba and Chotu). Is it in our innate nature to appreciate the ones who we feel closest to or is it that they are truly great that I admire them? Well for now all I can say is that I do not care which of the factors makes me feel this way but I am very definite about his. No matter how much I think about this and write I just cannot stop feeling overwhelmed with her love. Love infinite. Love with no bounds. Love with no expectations. Love the way god created love. Love that makes a partial atheist(please do not confuse my state of being an atheist as a god hater , it is just the way that I have not yet experienced the moment that changed my thinking and made me start believing in Him) lime me believe that there is a supreme being who's presence purifies everything. Mother how can I ever say that you have loved me so much that no matter what I do I cannot return it back but I feel that the way I think about this , that she is something back from me is in itself fallacious and foolish on my part. She never wanted anything but to give me love. Oh mother, I love you more than anything.

Stranglehold baby........

I was listening to Ted Nugent's stranglehold , I simply love the song. I remember when I was discussing with my friend that if I ever learn to play guitar and were to perform a guitar solo then which one would be my first choice then I chose this. A close second would be Eddie Hazel's Maggot Brain solo , it is awe inspiring and hair raising. Very few guitar solos have been shaped so beautifully and  I'm totally in love with it.
So what is it about Stranglehold that I love it so much ( more than even Freebird or STH). It is like the feeling  I get when I watch Twister ; I am out there a stormchaser and I see the tornado approaching , should I flee or wait? I chose to wait and as I wait Ted Nugent is searing the canals of my ears with the warm ascending solo building up slowly and reaching the pleasure zone of my brain. I experience each and every step and beat of the steadily rocking ride. I am waiting for the big jerk that I will experience when I hit the wall and that drives me crazy. Yes Stranglehold , I do not know if I will treat my baby this way of she were ever to do wrong but Ted would definitely make me think twice and .............ha ha ..........yeah baby Stranglehold

Stability

Stay + Ability